Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The 10 Most Pretentious Hipster Bullshit Items I Found in the Home Decor Section of Urban Outfitters

An inflatable dinosaur head. You basically can't even be a part of the hipster club if you're not obsessed with dinosaurs. And the same goes for...



A Holga 35mm camera. It's cool because it's a Holga. And also because it's a bright, trendy color. It's not even a good camera. It costs less than dinner for two at Red Lobster. And it takes film. Don't get me wrong - there's nothing wrong with film cameras, but if you're going to bother with going to the Rite Aid to have your pictures developed, or even doing it yourself, don't you at least want to have a decent camera? But you know what? It's okay, because the fact that it takes film is just that much more "hipster," which is our goal, right?

I don't think I even have to explain this one... Which is good, because I'm not sure that I could...

A DIY button factory! Now you can cover your super-cool messenger bag with your own creations, instead of buying them from mainstream corporate stores!

This one actually wounds my soul a little bit. This is a poster. That you can buy. FOR 64 DOLLARS. Of a girl holding a camera and a cigarette. For a cheaper option, you can find similar pictures all over your facebook news feed. Especially if you're friends with a large amount of high school girls.

This creepy wire spider-lookin' thing to hold all your super-trendy Polaroids!

A book on how to groom and grow your mustache. I had about 30 different "mustache" products to choose from, you guys.

This is a book -- but it looks like a phone! How awesome is that?! This one is great because it combines two of the most essential aspects of hipsterdom: photography and Apple products. (I'll admit, I type these snarky comments on my MacBook Pro...)

And last but not least, the single most pretentious hipster bullshit item I found:


Here's a little bonus item I found. It's not so much pretentious in my opinion, but more just side-splittingly hilarious:

I kind of want it...

Ponchos are back, yall!

We never thought we'd live to see the day when ponchos would be, yet again, back in style. They were really popular for about five minutes back in, like, 2005, and then they were the laughing stock of the fashion world until a few months ago. But don't panic! It's not what you think. This is what you're picturing:

Well, fortunately, this fresh batch of sleeveless, blanket-shirt-thingies are a lot cuter. We're talkin' more like this:

I mean, that's not so bad, right?
That's actually pretty cute!
I don't know whether or not I'll be jumping on the poncho band wagon this time around, but I don't think I'll be resisting as strongly as last time.